What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 01.07.2025 12:21
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Big Tech Is Back in S&P 500 Driver’s Seat as Profit Engines Hum - Bloomberg
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
What's the biggest myth about illegal immigrants?
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
So whats the point in blame.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Baby Talk Enhances Infant Speech Learning - Neuroscience News
He was dying to do it , i knew.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
June 27-July 3: New Moon to Crescent Sky Watch - The Weather Channel
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I waited trembling.
Why do some of those who believe in a god refuse to consider the possibility they could be wrong?
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
I don,t even have a pension.
Why did i forgive my father ?
What is the best skin care for oily skin that has acne?
Who then, do I blame.?
My family never makes their pension either.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
David Hogg to depart as DNC vice chair after months of turmoil - The Washington Post
I couldn’t, believe it.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Chiefs trivia: Your in-5 daily game, Friday edition - Arrowhead Pride
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Why do people with trauma easily recognize other people with trauma through eye contact?
My mum and dad in the seventies!
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Simple blood test detects cancer up to 3 years before symptoms appear - Earth.com
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
What questions are asked in a JP Morgan Hirevue interview?
So, i spoilt her more .
She wouldn,t have been !
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
How was your first cuckolding experience as a husband?
She was in good health!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
The ‘inexcusable’ mistake Knicks made again and again in season-ending loss - New York Post
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I will be 64.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
I think the readers, may guess!
Put me off passion for life!!
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
I never cut or harmed myself..
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
(And it was in our own minds.)
This is soul school!.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Was to survive, this bastard.
One cannot live in the past .
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
And who doesn’t know suffering?
I was scared of men, in general
But it wasn’t much.
Comes on , in middle age.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
I did it because my mum asked me too!
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
We all went to grammer schools
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I was 9 years of age.
I write beautiful poetry .
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I was seconnd youngest,
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
All the time i was locked up.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
But ive been too sick for many years..
I could never make a relationship work though!
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
When she asked me how she looked .
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
He knew the spot.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
She married twice! .
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
My life is so biszare .
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I have no regrets .
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
Especially a lifetime of it.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
This is how, and why children get BPD.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
It was going to be , some day.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
She loved him until the end.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
Would this be the day?
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I said to her
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
Ive learnt so much.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I was very sick at this time too.
But, we were locked up after school.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Im still living with it.
She found it foreign!.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
And i lived it daily.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
We were not on the streets..
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
What did i know ?
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!